Letter to my Dad

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Hey Dad.

This letter will consist of quotes from the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me movie, because this is one of your favorite movies, and quotes that you often say. I thought it would be cool to use the quotes as headings for lessons you’ve taught me and why I’m the luckiest girl on the planet to have you as my dad.

IMG_8018“You are my child” – Dad quote

For as long as I remember, you’ve been my hero. No matter what I do or what unforeseen circumstances come you and mom’s way, you always remind me that you’re going to make a way for me. You’ve always kept me at the center of your decisions. You’ve been the best father, provider, and protector any person could ask for and I don’t know why God thought I deserved you.

When I would break the rules and get tattoos and piercings, you still loved me. You made me promise you a few years ago that I wouldn’t get any more tattoos. It’s been hard but I’ve kept that promise to you.

“I’m tired of your insolence” AP quote

There would be times where we would be joking around and I’d pretend to get smart with you and you’d say, “watch that insolent tone”. I knew we were playing but I knew when you were serious. Like during times where I thought I was smart enough to use an “insolent tone” with you and mom when I had an attitude. I knew when you raised your voice that I’d better chill. Especially when you would try to help me with my math homework!

You might not remember this but when I was 16-years-old, I thought I was grown and was sneaking around town in places I shouldn’t be. When you confronted me about it, I began yelling at you, and you got more angry than I’ve seen you before. I remember I felt like you weren’t speaking to me for three weeks after that. It was the longest three weeks ever. I was upset with myself because I thought I hurt your feelings.

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“Tank-cha Jesus” – Dad quote (from Auntie Lynn)

Through all the times of me feeling like I was disappointing you, I was so happy when you were around for me. You would be at all of my school events, plays, concerts, basketball games. Sitting there with your video recorder cheering me on. Remember when the referee put you out the game at one of my basketball games during PGSL because you were arguing with him about a bad call? I was so grateful for you in that moment. Advocating for me, unapologetically.

I remember  you came and video recorded my probate when I became a Zeta. When the show was over, my friends all came to the stage to congratulate me and one of my sorority sisters came up to me and said, “You need to go to your dad. He’s been crying the whole show!” I came over by you and you indeed for were crying. You were so proud of me, even though you wanted me to be a Delta. Lol.

You remind me to give God the praise in all things in my life; good or not so good. Give God the praise. He will work it out. We took the saying “Tank-cha Jesus” from your sister and one of my favorite aunties, Lynn. She would always say “Tank-cha Jesus” in her Georgia accent during all of her prayers. But she was modeling how to give Him praise at all times.

In 2008, I thought you were going to die. I was in my first year of college when mom told me you had a tumor on your brain. You’d been acting irate and unlike yourself for months before we found out. We knew something was wrong but you being the stubborn person you are, didn’t want to go to the doctor to get checked out. Auntie Lynn, mom, Mr. Cardell, and Ms. Debbie conjured up a plan to get you to the urgent care.“Tank-cha Jesus” they did because that tumor would still have been taking over your brain and they wouldn’t have seen that you had had a stroke. Sitting in the waiting room all those hours while you had surgery was one of the scariest moments in my life. You know me, my anxiety is bad so I often go straight to thinking the worst. 

IMG_8017“I’m Dead Sexy” – AP Quote

Thanks for always reminding me that I’m beautiful even during times when I can’t see what you see. You know I’ve battled with my self-esteem but you never gave up. You still tell me to this day. You encourage me to see the light in myself. Not just when it comes to how I look but all of the things that make me unique. You cheer on my willingness to become a writer and be a free thinker. All of the things I criticize about myself, you see the goodness in them.

“The race is not given to the swift, but to he who endureth to the end” Dad quote from the Bible

We often can’t see the finish line when we are running hypothetical life races. Daddy, I’ve watched how you’ve silently ran your own races in the face of adversity. You kept your focus, you continued to pray, and you never gave up your faith. You want me to do the same. We have to keep pushing through hard times as they are stepping tools to the testimony that is at the end of that race.  I finally see that. It’s taken for me to feel at one of my lowest points right now to embrace my own race. Thank you for the gem.

Dad, they don’t make them like you anymore. You’re selfless, anointed, and all-around hilarious. You can take time to critically think about decisions, I can ask you a question and most of the time you have an answer. I’ll never have earthly love, the way my dad loves me.

I love you,

Your Baby

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