Invasion of Privacy: A Guide for the 20-Something Black Woman

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image obtained from google images

Cardi B back at it again with the BANGER! This time, the banger was her debut album “Invasion of Privacy” and chile it is LIFEEEEE! Bardi has prepared us for how hard we are going to go over the summer. While listening to “Invasion of Privacy”, while driving on the highway, I began to connect her song titles to actual things that I relate to or have gone through. Then began reflecting on experiences that some of my friends have gone through and how they relate to the titles.

Now, this isn’t my first go-around with having something relating to Cardi B. Back in October of 2017, I did a presentation on “Bodak Yellow”, and how the song was a story of Cardi B’s come up and how it connected to my come up as a Black woman and into my professional career. I think Cardi is the gem this generation needed. She’s raw and authentic.

So, why not utilize my time to create, what I think, is a guide to a 20-something Black woman? The songs I chose for this “guide” are the songs that most resonated with past and previous experiences. It is my hope that this guide finds a 20-something Black woman and resonates with what she’s going through.

Get Up 10 Have you ever sat back and reflected on your come up? What were some of those hardest challenges in your life that people believed you would never overcome? Now that you’ve had time to think about it, give yourself a round-of-applause. For me, my come up was ditching the negative people from my past, going to college, and turning my life around. No one (including myself) would have ever thought that I’d be pursuing a terminal degree or working to change the lives of college-aged students. But here I am. A young, Black woman professional from messy Peoria, Illinois. I’m fighting back and taking names. The song Get Up 10 is the perfect example of how to grind and never let the nay-sayers stop you from achieving your dreams.

Bickenhead Before I get into the connection of the song, did anyone listen to this song at first and just had a moment of nostalgia from the song Chicken Head by Project Pat? I found myself wanting to go back and listen to Chicken Head afterwards just so I could scream, “You riding clean but yo’ gas tank is on E, be steppin’ out aint got no decent shoes on yo’ feet”. Lol. Anywho, Bickenhead is all about being independent and getting your money. Often times, for the 20-something Black woman, we are trying to make it on our own so we can invest in ourselves, experiences, and others. Having your own money is so important. Me getting a second job was so I can have a little extra cash to get some of the things I need. I’ve now made a pretty smart plan with that extra cash. I decided to start tackling my debt, little by little. My side job checks are going towards my credit card and the principle balance of my car note. Being smart with your money will benefit you in the long run. Get your bread, sis!

Be Careful/Thru Your Phone These two songs are, in my opinion, similar. Both hint at the infidelity of a significant other. They relieve the pain that I’ve gone through more than twice in my life in previous relationships. Some of us have experienced our significant others cheating and lying throughout the relationship. I never understood it. Why lie? Why cheat? Why not just be single? And if you get caught cheating, don’t try to lie your way out of it. You’re caught. These songs also teach us to don’t lose who you are because of a man. You were a whole person before he came into your life. You should not forget that being with someone does not validate you. Your partner should come into your life and add to it not be your entire life. You are something to live for on your own. And if this man wants to continue to mistreat you and disrespect you, then you have to love yourself enough to leave. It is easier said than done. I’ve been in toxic relationships/situationships before that I got out of. It was so hard because I felt like I could not go on after it was over. But no one should be leaving you feeling empty. You have to pour into yourself when you aren’t in a relationship AND when you get into one. Once you make the decision to leave, he often realizes that he lost something special. Just remember that you ARE special and you aren’t any less than that if you decide to choose you over him. Period.

Best Life I am literally living my best life right now. I used to sit back and reflect on the what ifs and compare myself to others but because I’m always trying to self-reflect, I am doing just fine for 28 years old. Living my best life means, traveling the country and internationally, making my own decisions, grinding for what I want, laughing uncontrollably, and spending time with people. I refuse to continue to give my energy to people who don’t deserve it because that is time I cannot get back. I’m finding ways to continuously practice self-care during challenging times and putting positivity back into the atmosphere. Living your best life takes work. You have to first change your mindset about how your life is going. You have to remember that nothing comes easy and overnight. It’s a process and though I hate the saying “trust the process”, it’s so true. Trust that everything you are working for is going to pay off in the end. Don’t work to please others because having the best life means pleasing yourself.

Ring This song really gave me Where Did You Go by Destiny’s Child vibes. You ever felt like you were connecting with a guy and everything is going good? Then one day, he just stops communicating with you and you looking around like confused as to what stopped the conversation. When having conversations with your girls, you really be going back and forth with your self-worth for a moment and questioning what could have made him stop being interested in you. I know there’s been times where I’ve been in this situation. But remember sis, there’s always another one lined up waiting on you. So, if shorty made the decision to stop hittin’ you up, ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

Money Bag Money bag, Money bag! I loooooove this song. It reminds me of getting ready to go out with my girl friends. The process of putting on something sexy and looking schnack-ish for the evening. Knowing that my friends are also going to be looking like something edible turns me up. This song makes you want to stunt and be flawless all while looking and feeling amazing. This is something we all need at times. We spend so much time working for other people that we forget to pamper ourselves and treat ourselves to a good evening. For me, when I can throw on some makeup, a tight dress, and a pair of heels, I feel free. I feel wanted and stress free. It reminds me that I am a person who deserves to have a good time with my friends. The little extra attention we get from men when we go out never hurt nobody either :). Sometimes it’s cool to get some consensual attention because it helps affirm that you are looking great!

She Bad Don’t pretend like She Bad didn’t have you ready to get out your seat and twerk sum…even if twerking isn’t your thing. This song really just adds to the inner ratchet person in me. This is easily my summer anthem. I can’t wait until it gets warm so I can ride with the windows down, with my prescription sunglasses on, and my weave blowing in the wind beating this song in my car. I have no other words for this song but it just is what it is. Fire. period.

What are some of your favorite joints on the album? I’d love to hear about it in the comments section or via email.

❤ Queen T…I slightly stan for Cardi.

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image obtained from google images

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