#ThemToo – Narratives of Survivors

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In January’s posts, I shared personal stories of my experience with being sexually assaulted and harassed. I found my courage to write about it after the courageous people who have spoken out against the people who assaulted them. I made a call out on my social media platforms for anyone who wanted me to share their stories on my blog. I wanted to give a voice to those who felt the need to share their stories but weren’t ready to publicly tell them. I created a google doc for people to submit their stories to me (using their name or anonymously) and I would post them on my blog.

I want to thank the 3 courageous women for trusting me and sharing their stories with me. Below are their stories. Read them. Take them in. Become an advocate to end sexual assault. Educate yourself on rape culture. Speak out against it. These stories sparked so many emotions for me. To my sisters: I hear you, I feel for you, I believe you, I love you. ❤

Brit- Black woman When I was about 7-8, I was sexually assaulted by my mothers boyfriend. Me and my brother were at the house around 8pm, my mom was at work. Her boyfriend had some of his friends over and they were drinking and watching tv in the living room. Dressed in my night grown, he asked me to come sit on his lap (never asked me this before, however he never advanced himself on me before). I sat on his lap as kids do and I became thristy which he gave me his cup that contained liquor and coca cola. I thought it was just soda. The drink burned my throat so bad! He bounced his leg around, felt on my legs, all while other men were there and THEY SEE WTF?! Why not stop him? My brother comes out his room, sees the situation and goes into FULL BEAST MODE AT 13! He is my hero til this day! I now have a daughter and I FEAR this upon her. I cant even imagine her going through that. I told my mother and she did what any mother would…whoop his ass and put his ass out! I never told anyone this story until I was about 27, Im 30! It takes time to heal! LADIES PLEASE SPEAK UP AND DONT WAIT UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE!

Anonymous – Black Woman When I was younger my mother would allow us to go over one of her friends house. I had three brothers and they would all play the game or go outside to play sports. My mother’s friend oldest son was about 15 and I was only about 6 or 7 at the time. He would inappropriately touch me and grope me. One day he even made me watch porn. I went home feeling so disgusting and dirty. I became a very quiet child during this whole ordeal. I remember being afraid to speak up about it. I remember being afraid I would be punished also. I can recall wondering “why me” and contemplating rather it was my fault. One day I managed to speak up because he caused me a lot of pain. He was punished and fortunately for me I haven’t seen him since. As I grew up I remember being very uncomfortable around males. I was super shy and timid behind closed doors because I would have flashbacks of this horrible child hood experience. I love this “me too” movement because it encourages women like myself to stop harboring secrets that haunt us to this day. It provides a platform for us to inform our children of inappropriate behavior and let them know it’s ok for them to speak up.

Anonymous – Black Woman I was 13 years old. My mom has 5 daughters, including myself, and was dating a guy who had 5 sons of similar age to us. One son was a terrible delinquent (in Juvie & mental inst. by the age of 12) and was forced to move into our home, despite an already tight living arrangement. A few weeks prior to my incident, he groped one of my younger sisters and a family friend seen it through the door and told my mom. They had a sit down … nothing really happened because the son still resided in our home. Fast forward a few weeks, I was sleeping on the bottom bunk in my room that I shared with my sister —it was night time everyone was asleep—maybe 2 am; my sister who slept on the top was away at her grandmother’s house. He slept in the basement. He came up stairs and tried to penetrate me. I thought I was dreaming and didn’t even know what was happening. After being unsuccessful, he pulled down my pants and resumed his attempts. I rolled over and punched him but I didn’t make a scene because it was late and I was half asleep. He hit his head on the bunk bed and left. The next morning he had a lump on his head and a bruised eye. When our parents asked him what happened he lied and said he ran into the wall while sleep walking. I never told because I was embarrassed and knew nothing would happen because of the way they handled him with my sister. A few months later he was kicked out of school and sent to therapy where he admitted to our parents what he did that night. I was confronted about it and I never answered them cuz I felt like the guilty person rather than the victim. My mom stayed with the dude for the next 10 years—they were a match made in hell. The son lived in the same household with me for about  6 of those years and I hated his guts. We moved places and I had my own room and I put locks on my door and my mom would get mad about my ‘expectations of privacy’. I never mentioned that I only locked my doors at night, because I was scared that his room and mine were adjacent. Needless to say I was traumatized so I isolated myself. Still to this day I cope by self-isolating, and my relationship with my mom never went back to normal.

We have to stop normalizing rape culture. #BelieveUS. I hope these women’s stories resonate with you. I pray they encourage you to speak out against rape culture. To check your friends when they are normalizing this culture or when they are subjecting people to uncomfortable and non-consensual situations.

❤ Queen T, Brit, Anonymous, and Anonymous

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